Pre-Hurricane Harvey Post

Well here it is. Houston is expecting to be on the shit end of a Hurricane and EVERYONE is in total PANIC. Stores are sold out of canned food and water and no one knows what is going to happen. Well shit, it just started raining.. I've only been at work for maybe an hour. I work north of where I live so I am kind of worried about this drive home.

Over the years Hurricanes come and go and no one knows how bad these will get. So far, I have learned that Houston floods A LOT. 

For anyone that doesnt live in Houston and is planning on moving here or sporadically move here because or work or personal reasons, remember this list:

Important things needed:

Generator (if you can afford one)

Water - based on the category - lots of it, but dont be greedy Houston people tend to over react and buy WAY more than they need for the sole purpose of being greedy. HEY HOUSTON people YOU ARENT THE ONLY ONES WHO NEEDS WATER..

Canned Foods/Non-perishables - ravioli, soup, veggies - and if you are like me ... snacks(which I didnt know about this thil too late so I am scarce on food -_-

Flashlights/Batteries/Portable chargers - well DUH

First aid/Emergency Kit - in case anyone get hurt.

Definitely fill a tub with water so you have flushing water. Boil water or filter water and save it to the side if you are unable to get bottled water. 

GAS: Once you find out fill your car, get the extra sides of gas to have because gas will go right before - I know because I have been trying to fill my tank for two days -_- (even though Im broke - Im pulling pennies together to try and fill my tank if I can find a gas station WITH GAS... )

I knew about this just a day and a half before this hoes was gonna hit, I AM NOT PREPARED. 

I hope that everyone is safe. Remember: Hope for the best, prepare for the worst. 

Love you all. 

Ill ttyl.

This is me signing off. Always: chin up and arms out. 

<3 tbabes 

what does it mean?

Deep dark clouds,
Cold deep breathing,
Doing nothing but roaming the world,
I feel like a damn heathen.

Choices have regets,
I dont quite understand,
I am still alive yet,
This isnt the promised land.

Shriveled fingers,
Watery eyes,
Not everyone lives,
But everyone dies.

All I ever want for is for comfort and understanding,
Living this damn life,
Its so demanding.

Days to nights,
Weeks into years,
How does one live their life,
So full of fear.

Yes true, everyone is meant for something,
Just trying and looking,
What the fuck does this life mean?

A letter to TLOML ♥️

My dearest Nici,

I want you to know that I love you. You stole my heart the first day we met over 3 years ago. We were both in unhappy relationships at that point in time however we thought that we were in love and were willing to keep trying with them. Days passed since I first met you  and never saw you again. I was sad about that no doubt but life was funny. Somehow I started seeing you more in the most random places. Those few times at the coffee shop where you were waiting on so said girlfriend to get off or whatnot. I saw you there a few times and never had the nerve to say anything with the fear of rejection. My heart would've melted had you not remembered who I was. One day, I said fuck it and walked up to you and finally said hi... I died a little inside because the way you responded sounded like you didn't know who I was. I know now that wasn't the case. Sorry about that by the way LOL.  Then again, I lost you. Suddenly one day, my sister wanted to get her hair done so I took her and stayed with her. I had a small conversation with the hair dresser and as we spoke I told her that I was a lesbian and  she was like "oh I am too. My girlfriend is actually right there." Would you know it... to my surprise it was you. However, you were so into your phone you didn't even notice me. I didn't bother to even say hi. You were taken, what would've been the point??

Well fast forward. Years later, here I am in a car with you on our way to visit your family. These are the moments I live for. Going on roadtrips with the love of my life and getting away. Jamming to our random music. I cant believe that we are here today.

I have gotten to wake up and fall asleep beside you. Now lets not sugar coat this shit and say we cuddle all the time. Truth is, we dont. It gets hot sometimes!! Not to mention when Im not feeling well  or have a stuffed nose... let me apologise for all the random tissues and snotrags you may find. Everyday when I come home and youre there, its makes my day. I wouldnt want to come home and see anyone else. You are the voice that calms me down, you are the presence that makes my whole being know everything is okay, you are the future I envision. I will give up my last for you. My past, my exes - they are gone - they wont do anything but cause trouble and instill doubts. I believe us to be a forever thing, so anything that may cause doubts, Im not about it. Hell, me and my ex raised a child together and because she would try to cause problems I had to tell her to step off. Plus it would be disrespectful to our relationship since you voiced that you dont do exes. Neither do I, I am glad that we have this mutual agreement. Overall, you make my life more meaningful than it was before.

I love the way we laugh about nothing, do the most randomest shit and just have a good time overall. Theres not a thing about you that I would change. You have shown me that love is real and that maybe I am meant to be as happy as the people we see in these gay ass movies. I love when you fall asleep first and I hear your grizzly bear snores or that cute thing you do when you yawn. You allow me to be myself without judgement. I can only hope I do the same for you. I love you for who you are and what youve been through. Everything you have endured has made you into this wonderful human being unexplainable by any words. You are an absolute gift to those who are lucky enough to have you in their life. I cant wait to see what the future holds for us.

I am not the easiest person to get along with and I thank you so much for putting up with me. I have mood swings and attitudes. I dont always think before I speak. Please believe that I will never do anything to hurt you. I want to make you as happy as you make me. My past has really fucked me up and I hope that you can put up with me as I overcome these obstacles. Thank you for understanding what I have gone through and working with me through them. I was happy alone before I met you but now you have made my life even more amazing than I could ever think possible. All I ask is for you to please be patient with me. Again, I love you... mucho mas que palabras. You are my forever and always. 💕

Sincerely,
This mess of a woman.