Thoughts. They run through your mind all the time. Sometimes you wish that you can stop them and you just cannot. You would think that they would stop when you sleep, but in all actual reality.. they just become your dreams.
Now I know that all of these thoughts are a combination of good and bad. Which is great. Too many bad thoughts can bring one down and make you depressed.. THERE ARE people that do suffer from that. I once was like that myself. I cannot tell you just how many times I could not stand living on this Earth. I felt like I was a waste of space and I have no purpose in life. I had been through so many traumatic events in my life that I have learned to let it go and make myself happy. I will let you guys know a little secret. When I was in high school, my parents thought that I was such a bad child that they shipped me off to Cambodia. They told me that I was just going down there to visit and drop off Christmas presents so I was like "Cool, a vacation from school!". I missed my whole second semester of my senior year. I missed my graduation, prom, and senior project... EVERYTHING that means something to teens in high school. I didn't get to walk with my friends, I didn't get to dance the night away with my friends, I didn't do anything.. My soul was crushed. In order for me to get back to the U.S. I had to lie to my parents.. I felt horrible about it, but I didn't want to live or stay in Cambodia... That's not where my life was. Could you guys imagine being away from your little brother or sister whom you basically raised from babies to almost teens for 6 months? I cried horribly... Every night. My heart was broken. LET ME STATE.. I was not a bad child. I merely skipped everyday, but I was passing all my classes. I am not sure why they got so mad THEN, but NOW I can understand their disappointment. I was their first born and I was a girl. I AM SO SORRY MOMMY AND DADDY I LOVE YOU BOTH UNCODITIONALLY. This is just a something that was major in my life. I don't try to talk about it often, but I feel if you are going to be my friend or TRULY involved in my life you can see where or why I act the way I do. There are more things, but I will save that for another time.
Something I hope that you cannot relate to when thinking back to your childhood, is abuse. Abuse is no joke. I mean I understand disciplining your child but there is a point when it does become child abuse. I often think back at these things and it makes me wonder what did I do? Was I that bad as a child? This is also something that mentally FUCKED me up growing up. I never think that I am good enough for anyone. Whether it is for friends or significant others. It has hindered a lot. I have always settled for less than I deserved. I just want to put this out there... Thank you for showing me that I am worth more than my mind tells me I am. . <3
Moving on before I cry lol.
I do have good thoughts. Please believe I do. My sister is newly married and having a baby in less than two months. I am so excited and cannot wait to see what kind of man my little prince Simon will become. I think about how my sister has turned into this amazing women.. I never thought I could be as proud of her as I am today. My little brother and his gaming skills, he is a freaking beast. He is also growing up so fast, I mean this little boy is 15 years old and he is like 5'7. My immediate family we are all 5'2 or less lmao. My mom and dad inspire me so much, they have been through a lot of rough SHIT, but they work through it because they love each other. (My mom is just PETTY as fuck)However, I still aspire to have a love like theirs. When I see my friends doing fantastic things in life I congratulate them. If I see someone who is down or going through rough times, I give them some inspiring words to lift their spirits. Everyone should have that one friend that will always give words of advice through everything. I think about where life is going and set more goals for myself. Happy thoughts bring positive waves/vibes.
So no matter what thoughts run through your head, make it positive and make your life what you want. Do not let the voices inside of your head make you sad or depressed.. You are an amazing someone and someone that is going to do things!
"Not all of us can do great things. But we can do small things with great love." - Mother Teresa
Alright you guys.. this is me signing off. I hope you enjoyed.
Once again... Chin up and arms out... take this life one day at a time. YOU ARE DESTINED FOR WONDERFUL THING... if not for you, then someone else. small things.. take it easy.
-tbabes <3
Now I know that all of these thoughts are a combination of good and bad. Which is great. Too many bad thoughts can bring one down and make you depressed.. THERE ARE people that do suffer from that. I once was like that myself. I cannot tell you just how many times I could not stand living on this Earth. I felt like I was a waste of space and I have no purpose in life. I had been through so many traumatic events in my life that I have learned to let it go and make myself happy. I will let you guys know a little secret. When I was in high school, my parents thought that I was such a bad child that they shipped me off to Cambodia. They told me that I was just going down there to visit and drop off Christmas presents so I was like "Cool, a vacation from school!". I missed my whole second semester of my senior year. I missed my graduation, prom, and senior project... EVERYTHING that means something to teens in high school. I didn't get to walk with my friends, I didn't get to dance the night away with my friends, I didn't do anything.. My soul was crushed. In order for me to get back to the U.S. I had to lie to my parents.. I felt horrible about it, but I didn't want to live or stay in Cambodia... That's not where my life was. Could you guys imagine being away from your little brother or sister whom you basically raised from babies to almost teens for 6 months? I cried horribly... Every night. My heart was broken. LET ME STATE.. I was not a bad child. I merely skipped everyday, but I was passing all my classes. I am not sure why they got so mad THEN, but NOW I can understand their disappointment. I was their first born and I was a girl. I AM SO SORRY MOMMY AND DADDY I LOVE YOU BOTH UNCODITIONALLY. This is just a something that was major in my life. I don't try to talk about it often, but I feel if you are going to be my friend or TRULY involved in my life you can see where or why I act the way I do. There are more things, but I will save that for another time.
Something I hope that you cannot relate to when thinking back to your childhood, is abuse. Abuse is no joke. I mean I understand disciplining your child but there is a point when it does become child abuse. I often think back at these things and it makes me wonder what did I do? Was I that bad as a child? This is also something that mentally FUCKED me up growing up. I never think that I am good enough for anyone. Whether it is for friends or significant others. It has hindered a lot. I have always settled for less than I deserved. I just want to put this out there... Thank you for showing me that I am worth more than my mind tells me I am. . <3
Moving on before I cry lol.
I do have good thoughts. Please believe I do. My sister is newly married and having a baby in less than two months. I am so excited and cannot wait to see what kind of man my little prince Simon will become. I think about how my sister has turned into this amazing women.. I never thought I could be as proud of her as I am today. My little brother and his gaming skills, he is a freaking beast. He is also growing up so fast, I mean this little boy is 15 years old and he is like 5'7. My immediate family we are all 5'2 or less lmao. My mom and dad inspire me so much, they have been through a lot of rough SHIT, but they work through it because they love each other. (My mom is just PETTY as fuck)However, I still aspire to have a love like theirs. When I see my friends doing fantastic things in life I congratulate them. If I see someone who is down or going through rough times, I give them some inspiring words to lift their spirits. Everyone should have that one friend that will always give words of advice through everything. I think about where life is going and set more goals for myself. Happy thoughts bring positive waves/vibes.
So no matter what thoughts run through your head, make it positive and make your life what you want. Do not let the voices inside of your head make you sad or depressed.. You are an amazing someone and someone that is going to do things!
"Not all of us can do great things. But we can do small things with great love." - Mother Teresa
Alright you guys.. this is me signing off. I hope you enjoyed.
Once again... Chin up and arms out... take this life one day at a time. YOU ARE DESTINED FOR WONDERFUL THING... if not for you, then someone else. small things.. take it easy.
-tbabes <3
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