I have.
Plenty of times.
Life is hard.
It will push your limits until you feel like you just want it all to go away.
To this day, as much as I love myself, I cant help but to feel that I am unimportant. I have no impact and that I am useless to anyone that I come across. I dont have much to offer. I may seem like I have my life together but truth is.. I dont. Everyday is a challenge for me. I often think to myself, how have I made a difference to this world? Usually my answer is no. Thats okay I guess. eventually I will right?
People will push and pull and whip you around to get a reaction from you. WELL guess what??? Tell them to GO FUCK THEMSELVES! Just because you have a shitty life or attitude, dont place your FUCKING shame on me you douche!
I dont lack inspiration, I just lack some motivation. I want to do so many things in life but I dont have a push.. I dont even need a push. Just a nudge would help.. maybe lol.
Everyday I just go through the motions.. Like different people effect my day. I know that overall I make my day so I dont let it get to me. I feel like giving up more often than none. I find each breath to breathe and each step to walk a little more difficult each day.. like I am suffocating and unable to control what my actions are. Most days I just want to lay in bed and say fuck it all.
When I feel like giving up, I think of everything that makes life worth while. My brother and sister mostly. They are 15 and 19 now. My nephew which will be born in the next month!! I am so excited! This new relationship I am in feels like this is a forever thing and not a right now, its nice for change. Its a great feeling really. It gives me hope for a great future! So many other things too :)
Things will change for the better, important thing is you must remember not to give up just because life sucks and people are horrible. You make your own day and your control your life. The change starts with you. Never give up on your dreams!!!
This is me signing off loves!!!
as always, chin up and arms out... take life a day at a time.
-tbabes<3
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