MARCH ALREADY!?

Oh man, we have final reached March? sheesh why did January go by so damn slow and February literally slipped through our fingers!

So much has happened within the last few weeks. I have to say though that I am at a much happier place in my life. I love my job(most of the time), I am going to looking for another job soon so that I have extra income. I have a new apartment in a new exciting area and I every morning I get to wake up to my amazing gf and fall asleep next to her. I couldn't ask for more. The only thing that upsets me is that I am farther from my family...I of course will have to make trips out there, of course when traffic isn't killer. 

Even though I am struggling, I have never felt so complete in my life. Everyday, I swear it gets harder but I push through the day and stay happy. Whats the point in living if you stay mad or angry all the time? Life is about living and enjoying it. Theres so much more to you this world that you have yet to see.

I have never wanted so much more from my life as I do today-I mean I have always had goals, but now I want to push even harder. I cant imagine living a better life than I have right now. Sure I dont get to spend as much time as I want with my gf because we are always working, but we are truly building a future together. I thought I knew what love was before, but this totally changes everything. I have always felt lonely sleeping next to my exes - I literally cried myself to sleep with my past - EVEN IN THE BEGINNING. I felt so controlled, I felt as if I just wasnt enough. As happy as I thought I was, I was enternally dying and falling into a dark depression and my self esteem sunk entirely. Even when things got heated and physical I thought that maybe I deserved it and I was to blame for any problems that we had. It was toxic and unhealthy. Over the years and after my last break up, I learned to love myself and I was totally okay with being alone. I got to hang out with friends and do as I pleased. No, I wasn't out being a whore. Anything close to that would be me sleeping (like laying in bed with another woman) while me and my then gf were on a break(we both knew it was over-however she was too okay with using me to let me go). I had fun that night, I made new friends, drank with new friends and just danced. I never felt so free. There is nothing wrong with being alone. It gives you the time find who you are and what you want. I remember I was on my way to hang out with my now gf in MS and my ex would call me and check on me and try to make me come back... at that time this was the first road trip that I was doing alone.. I wanted to finally live my life. Once I got to MS until I came back to TX I had my phone on "Do Not Disturb".  I didn't want to waste my time anymore with people that could care less about my well being. ANY OF YOU, don't waste your time on people that don't give a real shit about you.

This blog is getting a little lenghty I think its time for me to bid yall adieu. OH BTW MY GFS BDAY IS IN A FEW DAYS!!! whoop whoop!

This is me signing off loves.
Remember: chin up and arms out, take it one day at a time. Everything gets better - I promise.

I love you all.
xoxoxo
~tbabes <3